I had a very fun conversation earlier today at work. We touched on many subjects ranging from religion, racial discrimination and its tendency to overcompensate itself, religious tolerance, and so forth. I do so miss the presence of "depth-ridden" intelligent conversations along those lines in my life. Back in Utah, I had many friends to debate such thought provoking topics with whenever I felt up for a debate. Here, it just isn't the same. Not to say at all that I think my friends are unintelligent; merely that they either don't have any specifically-aligned views on the matter (i.e. they just don't really care) or they agree too quickly and it's all over just like that. As strange as it may sound, I miss having an opposition in my debates; in my opinions. As I stated earlier, which I found to be a rather deep quote in itself: "Difference of opinion is necessary for the development of opinion." Throughout my growing up, it has been both my experience and thus my acclimated nature to engage in both serious and mocking debates, neither of which were intended to target personal feelings. Basically, I would get in heated arguments on something one moment, or stumble into a friendly insult-war, and then the next moment after said moment's conclusion all was well. No harm, no foul. Such is the way of the adult world. Recently, however, I was reminded very unobtrusively of the part of my personality that tends to be a little overbearing and argumentative. I had a friend, with whom I had not realized there was a problem, who exploded at me from pent-up bitterness at the way I treat people in general. He called me an insulting person that brought out the worst in him, and essentially accused me of being a bad friend. Now, anybody who knows me knows that I make fun of everything. Things, circumstances, people, etc. But alas, anybody who knows me also knows that none of it is with the intent to harm. It is merely in jest. I joke for the sake of lightening the atmosphere and creating a fun time for those involved; and, admittedly, for my own amusement. However, this friend (whose name will be withheld) literally spent an entire dinner effectively explaining to me how I am an offensive person and a poor friend. All of this was done in front of many other people, which left me humiliated. I made many attempts to apologize for my actions. I tried to explain that I hadn't realized he was taking anything personally on account of the fact that he always joked right back at me. I tried also to explain, as I have before, that I don't mean to hurt anybody when I make my jokes in the first place. Rather than sympathize or listen, I was shot down or ignored as he continued to raise his voice more and more until others in the restaurant were looking at us strangely. This added to the embarrassment of the situation. I was, and am, furious. On the one hand, I do truly understand and sympathize. I know that I can be a little overbearing at times and some people take my words personally. If ever anybody mentions to me that something I said was too mean or rude or offensive, I immediately apologize and promise to more carefully watch how I treat them in the future. I'm not a bad person. On the other hand, it was VERY inappropriate of this friend to choose that moment: in front of my other friends, in a restaurant filled with other people, to go off on me for an hour about how many grievances he has against me for being a poor friend. Not to mention his lack of even an attempt to listen to my own thoughts or explanations or apologies on the matter. All in all, the dinner went quite miserably. I made good use of my very good ability to withhold my temper rather than returning the shouting. I simply held my peace and allowed him to talk until he was out of things to talk about.
I apologize, I ranted. I was stressing and needed to vent, so I did so into my blog. Oops. Christmas is in 3 days now, and this morning I hadn't done any Christmas shopping. I got all of it done today, leaving me relieved and happy. I'm excited for Christmas, and I'm excited for my birthday on the 31st, and I'm excited because January 2nd-6th my family, along with my girlfriend, are going to Disneyland! Joyous joyous joyous. The only shortfalling I see in the coming few weeks are my lamentable lack of money. Not so joyous, I should say. My birthday, unfortunately, I actually am not all that excited for. The more I think about it, the more sad I become. This will be the first birthday in seven years that I didn't have my party at Rock Creek Pizza with a bunch of friends, playing games until midnight and then banging pans and pots together outside. That was tradition. That was my life. That was more than satisfactory: that was sentimental. This year, I have no idea what to do. I probably will just request a delicious dinner somewhere and spend the remainder of the day at home as I would any other day. In fact I might even have to work on my birthday, which would be the coupe de grace I'm sure. It's sad, but yes, I am not looking forward to my birthday very much this year. On the upside, I'll be 20 years old. And that in itself is VERY exciting. I'll no longer be a teenager, and that is a really weird thought.
I had no particular direction with this post; I merely had a lot on my mind and chose to talk about it. There are other things I could elaborate on. These include my unending excitement for the new Thousand Foot Krutch album coming out soon, my embarrassing obsession with The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, my ongoing hunt for an additional job to go along with the one I have now, etc. I'll simply leave it at this today, because I have a feeling this post alone will stir up some interesting conversations later on.
J R Williams
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Profaning the Name
Okay, so this is going to be a rant. This has been weighing on me for some time now, and I've got to come out with all my thoughts on it. It's most likely going to make me look hypocritical in some way, so to that I have to say "judge me, agree with me; I don't care."
Profanity is weak. And it upsets me when people use it around me. And it saddens me when people I'm close with use it around me. It makes you and everything you are look bad. It shows a presence of evil, hidden or not, and it also shows a lack of replacement vocabulary. I used to curse.. often. In fact, at one point in my life I was known as the one more prone to it than most anyone in my current group of friends. And though that was a long time ago, it still saddens me to this day that I can say that truthfully. But rather than digressing further, I'll now get to what's been gnawing at me the most lately:
Christians are supposed to be set apart from the world. Christians are supposed to follow a higher standard. And Christians, above all, should know better. Yet, as of late, I feel almost suffocated by the "Christians" who surround me. I'm not going to state any names; I don't want to offend anybody. But so many people who call themselves Christians curse as much or more than others I know who aren't religious at all. Occasionally, I ask them about it too. My answers are generally along the lines of "yeah, I should work on that eventually," or "yeah, I've kinda just given up on that one," or "it isn't a big deal because I don't do it very often." Almost every time it's mentioned, they laugh it off or shrug it off like it's something that isn't important. WHY is that okay? What part of your mind tells you that profanity isn't a big deal? If we set up Hollywood as our model for morality, God help us all because our moral structures are doomed. Lord knows I'm not perfect; far from it. I have a lot of things I need to work out in my own life. But that doesn't mean that I should stay quiet and not point out things that other people don't even seem to notice that they should be working on, does it? If that makes me a hypocrite, then so be it. The biblical standards set upon us by the Lord are not negotiable. It isn't "okay" or "not a big deal" to just pick and choose which ones we think we ought to follow.
What saddens me even more is that if I were nonreligious and knew little of Christianity, but were to hang out with the average adolescent Christian that I've known most of my life, I would want no part of the church. Because its members are no different than anybody else. Now, I don't mean to go out and say that everybody is terrible. I'm just ranting about my own experiences and how they frustrate me. The desensitization of our world is truly a frightening thing when it even infiltrates our church; when fellow Christians will look upon "smaller" sins and say "that's not a big deal." I repeat again that I have a long, long, long way to go myself. I'm just asking for a little help from everyone else too. By indulging in things like simple profanity, we are giving Christianity a bad name and reflecting negatively on the Bible to others. I'm not to be excluded from this, either. There are far too many times when I realize that I am a poor role model for other Christians and other people in general.
I suppose it all just makes me sad that so many Christians seem to think that it's all okay.
J R Williams
Profanity is weak. And it upsets me when people use it around me. And it saddens me when people I'm close with use it around me. It makes you and everything you are look bad. It shows a presence of evil, hidden or not, and it also shows a lack of replacement vocabulary. I used to curse.. often. In fact, at one point in my life I was known as the one more prone to it than most anyone in my current group of friends. And though that was a long time ago, it still saddens me to this day that I can say that truthfully. But rather than digressing further, I'll now get to what's been gnawing at me the most lately:
Christians are supposed to be set apart from the world. Christians are supposed to follow a higher standard. And Christians, above all, should know better. Yet, as of late, I feel almost suffocated by the "Christians" who surround me. I'm not going to state any names; I don't want to offend anybody. But so many people who call themselves Christians curse as much or more than others I know who aren't religious at all. Occasionally, I ask them about it too. My answers are generally along the lines of "yeah, I should work on that eventually," or "yeah, I've kinda just given up on that one," or "it isn't a big deal because I don't do it very often." Almost every time it's mentioned, they laugh it off or shrug it off like it's something that isn't important. WHY is that okay? What part of your mind tells you that profanity isn't a big deal? If we set up Hollywood as our model for morality, God help us all because our moral structures are doomed. Lord knows I'm not perfect; far from it. I have a lot of things I need to work out in my own life. But that doesn't mean that I should stay quiet and not point out things that other people don't even seem to notice that they should be working on, does it? If that makes me a hypocrite, then so be it. The biblical standards set upon us by the Lord are not negotiable. It isn't "okay" or "not a big deal" to just pick and choose which ones we think we ought to follow.
What saddens me even more is that if I were nonreligious and knew little of Christianity, but were to hang out with the average adolescent Christian that I've known most of my life, I would want no part of the church. Because its members are no different than anybody else. Now, I don't mean to go out and say that everybody is terrible. I'm just ranting about my own experiences and how they frustrate me. The desensitization of our world is truly a frightening thing when it even infiltrates our church; when fellow Christians will look upon "smaller" sins and say "that's not a big deal." I repeat again that I have a long, long, long way to go myself. I'm just asking for a little help from everyone else too. By indulging in things like simple profanity, we are giving Christianity a bad name and reflecting negatively on the Bible to others. I'm not to be excluded from this, either. There are far too many times when I realize that I am a poor role model for other Christians and other people in general.
I suppose it all just makes me sad that so many Christians seem to think that it's all okay.
J R Williams
Sunday, September 11, 2011
My Thoughts On 9-11
Within an hour of posting my poorly enunciated opinion regarding the 9-11 remembrance ceremonies and the general attitude behind the day itself, I found myself neck-deep in debates on the subject and overwhelmed in misunderstood spiteful replies. Therefore, I decided to make a blog post out of it all.
I'll get it out of the way right now so everyone can get angry at me and call me anti-American or cold hearted or whatever they're going to call me. I don't approve of the attitude behind the remembrance of 9-11. I did, at first. In its genesis, the reaction to the mention of 9-11 was justified: righteous anger, demand for justice, and mourning for those lost in the tragedy of that day. Now I see it used almost as a way for the government to say "this is why we need to stay in Afghanistan." Personally, I don't think we should be in Afghanistan at all. You simply can't declare war on terrorism itself. Terrorism is an ideology. It's everywhere. If America were to send soldiers to every country we found terrorist activity in, we'd have military occupation all across the globe. I believe that going to Iraq initially was acceptable, though it was as much a publicity act as it was an act of vengeance. America couldn't afford to be seen as docile; the country that won't respond to a terrorist attack.
I do believe that we should never forget that day happened. We should honor the courage of those who died. But I stand by my belief that if we're going to hold 9-11 in remembrance, it should be for the right reasons. Don't use 9-11 as an "Uncle Sam wants YOU to fight terrorism" recruiting ad. Don't exploit the deaths of those people. I disapprove of much of the government's policies, attitudes, and activities, as many of my friends know. As additional inclination to disapprove military presence in Afghanistan, my brother is there right now; fighting a war that we should have left long ago. The collateral damage of war alone done to Iraq, Afghanistan, and wherever we end up invading next is enough to spur terrorism on even more, and create new insurgents every day in response to our irrational peak of western aggression. Defense of the realm, as it were, is perfectly logical. An international crusade against terrorism which entails the imposition of U.S. forces upon whatever country we deem fit in order to reach our goal is not. This takes me back to a blog post I wrote in the past regarding international foreign policies concerning America's misguided belief that we are entitled to police the world as we see fit. We respond irrationally to perceived threats, and with a sense of irony that effectively perpetuates those aforementioned threats to new and more radical heights.
Perpetuation. That's what most of my thoughts can be summed up into.
J R Williams
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Contribution To Lamentation
While writing this today, I'm sitting back with a drink simply marvelling at life. So many things seem to be happening lately that I don't really like. I like to think I've recovered from my recent breakup, though it sometimes returns with a vengeance to strike me down into an unhappy stupor yet again. Additionally, I've been turned down yet again after my fourth job interview here in town. Joy of joys. But right when you think you've got it all figured out, it gets even better. My phone is broken. The screen is badly cracked, as if somebody shot it. Most of the touchscreen no longer works. Effectively, all it can now do is answer phone calls and read (but not reply to) texts. So, if you need/want to get ahold of me, call me or Facebook me. Don't text me, because I couldn't answer it even if I wanted to. I estimate another several days (or even longer) before I'm able to get a replacement. I could always downsize to not-an-iPhone, which would be easier, but I would still be without my iPod musical capabilities. This is unacceptable. Thus, I'm rather upset right now. On the upside, however, my sister in law has been in town visiting, which indubitably means I've had to deal with the trolling of an older sister for the past week or so. Which is definitely interesting, seeing as I'm used to being the one who dishes out the trolling rather than being the target of it. She's bunches of fun! We get along well, and I've really enjoyed having her here to visit (emphasis on "visit"... heehee [oh come on, it's a joke] ).
I've had a lot of fun over the past couple weeks, despite the recent downfalls of my life. My family went to Monterey and toured the world-famous Monterey Bay Aquarium. We also went to "Big Trees" to see the giant redwoods. Then I went with some friends down to San Francisco so my friend could audition for the new-ish American Idol spinoff, The Voice. He wasn't successful, but he did an admirable job and they only selected two out of the countless participants who showed up. Aside from that, I simply love road trips. The ridiculous singing along to music, frustrating realizations that we just got lost, and heart-to-heart bromance is essential to a man's life at one point or another.
I have a craving. I haven't gone shooting since before I moved away from Utah (a.k.a. HOME!!!). I miss it dearly (shooting AND Utah). I have ammunition, clay targets, and my Drobovik (Russian for "shotgun"). I merely need a place to go with some friends to blow some things away. This, I think, is one of the very best stress relievers. The satisfactory kick of a shotgun, coupled with the booming discharge and addicting sight of a spent shell ejection, is medicinal to say the least. Somebody should find me a nearby place I can go, preferably free of any sort of entrance fee.
I'm hungry.
J R Williams
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Casey Anthony
Below, I copy and pasted a very large comment posted on a friend of mine's Facebook status today. It was a small debate on the questionable outcome of the Casey Anthony case, and my input was requested. I ended up writing enough that I decided to make a blog post out of it for anyone interested.
I read up on wikipedia what I could about the case, and it seems to me that neither the defense nor the prosecution sufficiently did their jobs. I haven't seen footage of any of the trials and thus I can't make out the attitudes with which said prosecution or defense was speaking; I'm basing my opinion off of what I read. Honestly she could very easily NOT be guilty, though she also very easily could be. There was a solid amount of evidence to insinuate premeditated murder, but no evidence of the carrying-out of the murder. I'm not going to presume to know who is guilty and who is innocent; I won't make such deep assumptions or opinionations based on my own limited insight into the matter. But I will say this: to me, it appears that this woman is most merely a mentally unstable, highly emotionally volatile individual, who is unquestionably guilty in the areas of child neglect, threatening, and falsified information, most likely in some ill-conceived psychiatric self-defense attempt. It's very clear that this woman has a lot of issues. A lot. And though I'm going to remain neutral here, there isn't any hard evidence of the actual carrying out of the murder. From one perspective, people threaten to kill people they know all the time. Nobody knows the possible levels of domestic mental or emotional abuse that went whatever way it could have gone in the home. Therefore nobody can definitely conclude whether or not Google searches on how to create chloroform or searches as vague as "death" can be proof of premeditation, sheer curiosity, spur-of-the-moment anger after a fight, etc. There are simply too many possibilities. So I find the whole thing interesting, but I won't make a judgment on which side was right. The defense and the prosecution were both ill-equipped in their cases.
Ginger's J R Williams
Friday, July 1, 2011
Recent Tidings
I've been having a lot of nightmares lately. Many sleepless nights. I'm not entirely sure why; perhaps due to certain recent events that have played havoc on my mind. The last few days have been truly an experience, though not one I'd ever want to relive. I've completely redefined the term "rollercoaster mood," as I've gone from laughs to tears more times than I can count. Now to my family that reads this... Don't worry. I'm fine.
I've been drawing a lot. Everything from my usual zentangles to Pikachu and various characters from Spongebob. Drawing calms me. So does typing, hence a big part of the reason I'm writing this to begin with. I've also discovered the awesomeness that is the band Mayday Parade. These guys are simply lyrically gifted. They have some great stuff.
Isaiah 55:8. "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and neither are My ways your ways declares the Lord." Bad things happen. And more often than not, bad things happen to good people. But there is a PURPOSE and a REASON to everything, even if we can't understand why right now. God has it all planned out in a most perfect way, and it's all going to be okay, however it ends. Because it all ends, at some point.
I digress. I should be showering and getting ready to go job hunting some more, yet here I am blogging. I'll try to update my blog more often, as I don't seem to do so lately.
Ginger's J R Williams
I've been drawing a lot. Everything from my usual zentangles to Pikachu and various characters from Spongebob. Drawing calms me. So does typing, hence a big part of the reason I'm writing this to begin with. I've also discovered the awesomeness that is the band Mayday Parade. These guys are simply lyrically gifted. They have some great stuff.
Isaiah 55:8. "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and neither are My ways your ways declares the Lord." Bad things happen. And more often than not, bad things happen to good people. But there is a PURPOSE and a REASON to everything, even if we can't understand why right now. God has it all planned out in a most perfect way, and it's all going to be okay, however it ends. Because it all ends, at some point.
I digress. I should be showering and getting ready to go job hunting some more, yet here I am blogging. I'll try to update my blog more often, as I don't seem to do so lately.
Ginger's J R Williams
Friday, June 17, 2011
An Ode To Skillet
One Day Too Late I realized I wasn't quite ready to be Awake And Alive, so I told everyone who came into my room "Don't Wake Me, because I feel like a Monster." My Forsaken mother told me that I need a Hero to bring me from my Comatose state of mind. Under My Skin I felt this lack of Energy and lay idly to watch it Cycle Down, and as I was Falling Inside The Black of sleep I thought to myself that I should have given A Little More effort to waking up because I was raised to Never Surrender... and yet Sometimes I just feel like The Older I Get the more it starts Eating Me Away, slowly driving me crazy until all I hear are Whispers In The Dark. I often battle with Those Nights, only to have them say to me "It's Not Me It's You" and attempt to Say Goodbye and leave me alone in my thoughts of my laziness. I feel my Open Wounds laced through my Imperfection, and I resolve that I'm going to Rebirth and Believe that this is The Last Night that My Obsession with wallowing in my own lethargy is going to hold me down. So I got up and said good morning to my sister Lucy and cleaned myself off, Fingernails included. I noted that my laziness hadn't tried to stop me, for it in itself was too lazy, and I said to it "You Should've When You Could've."
This story doesn't make very much sense, but I managed to feature almost every Skillet song I have in it. I feel so accomplished.
Songs I have that I missed putting in:
"Earth Invasion."
"Forgiven."
"Collide."
"Yours To Hold."
"Better Than Drugs."
"Looking For Angels."
J R Williams
This story doesn't make very much sense, but I managed to feature almost every Skillet song I have in it. I feel so accomplished.
Songs I have that I missed putting in:
"Earth Invasion."
"Forgiven."
"Collide."
"Yours To Hold."
"Better Than Drugs."
"Looking For Angels."
J R Williams
Friday, May 27, 2011
Mental Overload of Musical Possibility
The Newsboys.
Skillet.
Toby Mac.
Tenth Avenue North.
Matthew West.
Thousand Foot Krutch.
Fireflight. Disciple.
The Afters.
Sanctus Real.
Manafest.
Sidewalk Prophets.
Chris August.
Stellar Kart.
Phil Wickham.
And about eight or nine other Christian bands. Three words. Spirit West Coast. THESE GUYS ARE ALL GOING TO BE IN CONCERT TOGETHER IN THE SAME DAY. I. Am. So. Going.
Skillet.
Toby Mac.
Tenth Avenue North.
Matthew West.
Thousand Foot Krutch.
Fireflight. Disciple.
The Afters.
Sanctus Real.
Manafest.
Sidewalk Prophets.
Chris August.
Stellar Kart.
Phil Wickham.
And about eight or nine other Christian bands. Three words. Spirit West Coast. THESE GUYS ARE ALL GOING TO BE IN CONCERT TOGETHER IN THE SAME DAY. I. Am. So. Going.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Home, War, and Unemployment
The move from Utah to California has officially come to its close. My dad and I flew back to Salt Lake City to load a second moving truck and drove it back to Lodi (California) yesterday. The drive took roughly 14 and a half hours. Yeah, it really WAS as fun as it sounds. And by fun, I mean not fun in any remote way whatsoever. The goodbye was heart-wrenching; granted, upon returning to Utah for an additional two weeks after initially leaving for California I suddenly found myself thinking to myself something along the lines of "I could have sworn I had more friends than this. Where is everybody?" It was a definitive "find out who your true friends are" moment. But saying goodbye to those close friends of mine was difficult -- even for a rock-solid, emotionally sound young man such as myself. Hahaha. As if. I said goodbye to my friend Travis and his family, and I broke down right in front of them. Luckily, shortly following that moment I regained my composure and felt I would be alright... until I arrived at home, upon which I broke down once more. I know, I know; what a baby, right? Meh. Oh well. Anyways, I digress.
We are all settled in here in Lodi finally -- I've even posted several pictures of the new house. I have never been more torn in my entire life when it comes to my opinion of the move. On one hand, it's incredibly and deplorably depressing. I grew up in Salt Lake City. My friends are there. My memories are there. I worked for my dad at Rock Creek Pizza for seven years. It was my first job, and I recently left. Now I have no social life. No car. Unpaid bills. And to add icing to the already ravaged cake: I'm unemployed. I'm not used to being unemployed. It's a weird, and frightening feeling. Why would anybody choose to dwell in such a state?? I'm going out tomorrow and applying at everything with a "Now Hiring" sign I can possibly find. Now that I've done my rant on the horrors of leaving home, I'll flip-flop over to the other hand: the upsides. I adore the weather here. Sure I miss the snow, but I don't miss waking up every morning and freezing my face off with a shovel clearing the driveway so I can leave. I like my new house. I've never lived in a house this nice, and I'm growing quite fond of it. Also, I'm excited by the whole "fresh start" possibility. A chance to reshape my life and be who I want to be. I've coerced myself into a mindset that says "Well you're moving 700 miles away and starting a new life, so you might as well change whatever you want to change now." Consequently, I've started working out, I dyed my hair black (though it's faded to a dark brown now, on its way back to a light-ish brown like it normally is), I sold a lot of my old things, and I've even gotten a new wardrobe. I've already met some people too.. :) (I know what you're thinking. "*Gasp* Jordan, you NEVER use smiley faces or other text-lingo in your blog posts!" But when you gotta smile, you gotta smile, so bear with me). I've also put together a basic list of my immediate/short term goals for the new life here. First: find a job. That is KEY to everything. Secondly: get a car. That is also hugely important, especially since I'd very much like to be able to make some trips down south a ways.. Thirdly: make some friends. Haha. Lame goal I know, but hey, a guy has to do SOMETHING or he's going to go out of his mind in boredom. Fourthly: get back to school. I've been putting thought into where I want to go to school, and I think at first I'm just going to go to Delta here in Lodi (community college) to get my generals done and save some money. Eventually, I'd like to go maybe to Sacramento state or UCLA. Why I want to go to either one of those I don't even honestly know. They're both prestigious schools with dorms and I want the full college experienece; not just community college. *Sigh*. I suppose we'll see what happens.
My brother Brandon is now on his way to Afghanistan to serve in the Army. My heart goes out to he and his wife Melissa for their 14 month separation from each other. You've got to hand it to them: that's love right there. I don't think I would be able to go that long without my wife, so I have great respect and admiration for them. I pray for his safety and for hers during this time. Brandon, if you happen somehow to read this: know that many people here are thinking of you and praying for you, and that I love you. Take care of yourself, and come back to us in one piece okay?
I have often thought of joining a branch of the military for financial and educational reasons (basically: I'm poor.). Besides, I'd be a total stud after boot camp. Hahaha. But honestly I could not go to war. If a thief breaks into my home and attempted to bring harm to me or my family, I'd shoot him down without hesitation. I'd take a life. If I were in a kill-or-be-killed situation like that, I would act. But the concept of literally killing a man sickens me, and the knowledge that that man and many others would very much like to kill me terrifies me. I could never put myself in a situation or place where I would end up in a war zone. I lack the resolve to go to war. I lack the courage. Call it cowardice, call it simple self-preservation, call it sensitivity; the simple fact is that I will not join the military for fear of war. And war is one of the very few things in life these days aside from liberals and economic instability that is NOT in short supply. I have often been known for my stereotypical outlook against the military that it is made up of dropouts who merely had no other place to turn. But my brother changes my opinion. He is one of a great many who are out there doing a service for their country, and to all of you men: I salute you. You are all heroes, regardless of the fools in office who may misuse you or abuse you. Your bravery and strength is never forgotten.
I wrote this post while listening to "Heart of Courage" by Two Steps From Hell; quite possibly the perfect song to listen to while writing about military action and/or war. Don't let the band's name fool you: they are a group dedicated to producing movie trailer music. All of their songs are instrumental. and many of them are absolutely amazing pieces of music.
On that note, I'll put a stop to this post. Tomorrow, I begin the search for a job and a jumpstart to my new life. Wish me luck.
J R Williams
We are all settled in here in Lodi finally -- I've even posted several pictures of the new house. I have never been more torn in my entire life when it comes to my opinion of the move. On one hand, it's incredibly and deplorably depressing. I grew up in Salt Lake City. My friends are there. My memories are there. I worked for my dad at Rock Creek Pizza for seven years. It was my first job, and I recently left. Now I have no social life. No car. Unpaid bills. And to add icing to the already ravaged cake: I'm unemployed. I'm not used to being unemployed. It's a weird, and frightening feeling. Why would anybody choose to dwell in such a state?? I'm going out tomorrow and applying at everything with a "Now Hiring" sign I can possibly find. Now that I've done my rant on the horrors of leaving home, I'll flip-flop over to the other hand: the upsides. I adore the weather here. Sure I miss the snow, but I don't miss waking up every morning and freezing my face off with a shovel clearing the driveway so I can leave. I like my new house. I've never lived in a house this nice, and I'm growing quite fond of it. Also, I'm excited by the whole "fresh start" possibility. A chance to reshape my life and be who I want to be. I've coerced myself into a mindset that says "Well you're moving 700 miles away and starting a new life, so you might as well change whatever you want to change now." Consequently, I've started working out, I dyed my hair black (though it's faded to a dark brown now, on its way back to a light-ish brown like it normally is), I sold a lot of my old things, and I've even gotten a new wardrobe. I've already met some people too.. :) (I know what you're thinking. "*Gasp* Jordan, you NEVER use smiley faces or other text-lingo in your blog posts!" But when you gotta smile, you gotta smile, so bear with me). I've also put together a basic list of my immediate/short term goals for the new life here. First: find a job. That is KEY to everything. Secondly: get a car. That is also hugely important, especially since I'd very much like to be able to make some trips down south a ways.. Thirdly: make some friends. Haha. Lame goal I know, but hey, a guy has to do SOMETHING or he's going to go out of his mind in boredom. Fourthly: get back to school. I've been putting thought into where I want to go to school, and I think at first I'm just going to go to Delta here in Lodi (community college) to get my generals done and save some money. Eventually, I'd like to go maybe to Sacramento state or UCLA. Why I want to go to either one of those I don't even honestly know. They're both prestigious schools with dorms and I want the full college experienece; not just community college. *Sigh*. I suppose we'll see what happens.
My brother Brandon is now on his way to Afghanistan to serve in the Army. My heart goes out to he and his wife Melissa for their 14 month separation from each other. You've got to hand it to them: that's love right there. I don't think I would be able to go that long without my wife, so I have great respect and admiration for them. I pray for his safety and for hers during this time. Brandon, if you happen somehow to read this: know that many people here are thinking of you and praying for you, and that I love you. Take care of yourself, and come back to us in one piece okay?
I have often thought of joining a branch of the military for financial and educational reasons (basically: I'm poor.). Besides, I'd be a total stud after boot camp. Hahaha. But honestly I could not go to war. If a thief breaks into my home and attempted to bring harm to me or my family, I'd shoot him down without hesitation. I'd take a life. If I were in a kill-or-be-killed situation like that, I would act. But the concept of literally killing a man sickens me, and the knowledge that that man and many others would very much like to kill me terrifies me. I could never put myself in a situation or place where I would end up in a war zone. I lack the resolve to go to war. I lack the courage. Call it cowardice, call it simple self-preservation, call it sensitivity; the simple fact is that I will not join the military for fear of war. And war is one of the very few things in life these days aside from liberals and economic instability that is NOT in short supply. I have often been known for my stereotypical outlook against the military that it is made up of dropouts who merely had no other place to turn. But my brother changes my opinion. He is one of a great many who are out there doing a service for their country, and to all of you men: I salute you. You are all heroes, regardless of the fools in office who may misuse you or abuse you. Your bravery and strength is never forgotten.
I wrote this post while listening to "Heart of Courage" by Two Steps From Hell; quite possibly the perfect song to listen to while writing about military action and/or war. Don't let the band's name fool you: they are a group dedicated to producing movie trailer music. All of their songs are instrumental. and many of them are absolutely amazing pieces of music.
On that note, I'll put a stop to this post. Tomorrow, I begin the search for a job and a jumpstart to my new life. Wish me luck.
J R Williams
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Back From The Dead
I haven't put up a post in awhile, so I suppose I better update the digital world of my misgivings. The move has officially been made from Utah to California. I like my new house very much; it's a very nice place. It's open and well-lit and close to literally everything in town. Currently I am back in Utah with my dad to "finish the job" per se. We flew out to conduct one last truckload of "stuff" back to California. I'm dreadfully excited, and by dreadfully excited I mean I'm not excited in the slightest bit. Hopefully the drive goes smoothly, though hope is merely one's way of mentally eluding either the inevitable or the undesirable. I know, I sound like a pessimist; however I prefer to see myself as a realist opportunist. This essentially means I maintain a borderline pessimistic-realist world view, but I like to think optimistically in relation to the outcomes and possibilities pertaining to such views. I don't expect that to fully make sense, but then I don't always fully understand myself anyways. Right now I am sitting secretly filming my dad playing Medal of Honor on his laptop, because he is absolutely hilarious to watch right now.
Alright, for the moment I'm sure many have been waiting for eagerly: my thoughts of the Great Move. Emotionally, I am simply exhausted. Between pre-existing drama with friends, a tragic and unhappy (to me anyways) breakup, the abrupt ending of any and all face-to-face social life activity outside of family members, and the loss of a job i've known and loved for over six years, coupled with anything and everything else that I encounter, I'm drained. And I've been steadily sick since a few days before the move. Such is life, I suppose. I'm not complaining, as much as it sounds like it. I'm really okay with the move. I like the house and the neighborhood and I hope to get a nice fresh start out of this whole thing. I'm just drained emotionally. Irritable. But like all things it'll pass, and hopefully sooner rather than later. I'm choosing to be optimistic about it; I just thought I'd share my mind with the page. I might end up catching some flack from you family out there for being "upset" or whatever I may seem to be, but I'm really okay, so please don't worry.
I've rekindled my waning taste in instrumental music, and am even getting into a couple alternative songs (I'll call them alternative because I have a jaded opinion against "indie" music even though essentially that's what it is. indie/folk/whatever.) I wouldn't normally be known for. I decided there isn't a type of music I DON'T like. I listen to Eminem, Dr. Dre, and a handful of other rappers. I listen to the Beach Boys and Bon Jovi. I listen to Thousand Foot Krutch and FM Static. I listen to Boston, Journey, Toto, Foreigner, and Petra. I listen to Asking Alexandria and Nightwish. I listen to Bullet for my Valentine and A Day To Remember and Escape The Fate. I listen to everything. Don't hate my music, because odds are if I heard yours I would like yours too. That being said, your agreement/disagreement with my musical taste really isn't my concern. The music is. If you like the same music, great. If not, oh well.
J R W
Alright, for the moment I'm sure many have been waiting for eagerly: my thoughts of the Great Move. Emotionally, I am simply exhausted. Between pre-existing drama with friends, a tragic and unhappy (to me anyways) breakup, the abrupt ending of any and all face-to-face social life activity outside of family members, and the loss of a job i've known and loved for over six years, coupled with anything and everything else that I encounter, I'm drained. And I've been steadily sick since a few days before the move. Such is life, I suppose. I'm not complaining, as much as it sounds like it. I'm really okay with the move. I like the house and the neighborhood and I hope to get a nice fresh start out of this whole thing. I'm just drained emotionally. Irritable. But like all things it'll pass, and hopefully sooner rather than later. I'm choosing to be optimistic about it; I just thought I'd share my mind with the page. I might end up catching some flack from you family out there for being "upset" or whatever I may seem to be, but I'm really okay, so please don't worry.
I've rekindled my waning taste in instrumental music, and am even getting into a couple alternative songs (I'll call them alternative because I have a jaded opinion against "indie" music even though essentially that's what it is. indie/folk/whatever.) I wouldn't normally be known for. I decided there isn't a type of music I DON'T like. I listen to Eminem, Dr. Dre, and a handful of other rappers. I listen to the Beach Boys and Bon Jovi. I listen to Thousand Foot Krutch and FM Static. I listen to Boston, Journey, Toto, Foreigner, and Petra. I listen to Asking Alexandria and Nightwish. I listen to Bullet for my Valentine and A Day To Remember and Escape The Fate. I listen to everything. Don't hate my music, because odds are if I heard yours I would like yours too. That being said, your agreement/disagreement with my musical taste really isn't my concern. The music is. If you like the same music, great. If not, oh well.
J R W
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
A Letter To Dad
Dear Dad,
It's been awhile --a longer while than I care to admit, really -- since I've come to you like this. We have some things we need to talk about, I think. I know that, in the past, I've had my ups and my downs. I know you have high expectations for me. And to be honest a lot of the time I feel pretty bitter and/or downtrodden when I don't measure up. It sometimes makes me feel like I don't measure up at all, to anything of value. But I know that isn't your intention. Your high expectations are out of your love for me and your hope to see me succeed. I know that sometimes I may not like the way you go about things. I may not understand why you do the things you do; especially when you incorporate "tough love." Often I wonder why and grumble to myself about how unfair it all is. There have been times where my life has been at some low places, and I've come to you to talk about them. You always listen to me; always. You always make me feel better; always. You always help me through the next day, and the next day, and the next day; always. I want you to know that even though I cry and whine and argue with you about everything we disagree on, I understand that you have my best intentions at heart. You have so much more experience than I do, and you want only the absolute best for me. You want me to live up to my potential and do great things in the world. The sad truth is, up to this point, I have not done so. I've been lethargic. I've procrastinated. I've "rolled with the wrong crowd" before. I've made mistakes like everyone else. Mistakes that many of which could have been easily avoided if I'd just listened to you and taken your advice to heart rather than brushing you aside as if I knew better. I've disappointed you. I've brought many a tear to your eye. I've given you a restless night. I've not lived up to potential. These things I have done in the past. We even grew further apart to the point where we hardly ever talked, and I never spoke your name. I know how much that saddened you. Recently, we've spoken more than we have in a long time. Recently, I've faced some difficult times and I've found that the only person I can turn to for that neverending strength and comfort and compassion and genuine love that I need: is you. You are the light in the darkness of my life. You are the light in the darkness of the whole world. I know that I've made mistakes, and that I've disappointed you in the past. But right now, I'm here to tell you that I'm making a change. I'm making decisions. I'm making effort. I'm not just sitting by anymore. I want to talk to you again. I want to tell people about you and I want everybody in the whole wide world to know: that you are my dad; that you are my God.
Sincerely, and forever your son,
Jordan
J R Williams
It's been awhile --a longer while than I care to admit, really -- since I've come to you like this. We have some things we need to talk about, I think. I know that, in the past, I've had my ups and my downs. I know you have high expectations for me. And to be honest a lot of the time I feel pretty bitter and/or downtrodden when I don't measure up. It sometimes makes me feel like I don't measure up at all, to anything of value. But I know that isn't your intention. Your high expectations are out of your love for me and your hope to see me succeed. I know that sometimes I may not like the way you go about things. I may not understand why you do the things you do; especially when you incorporate "tough love." Often I wonder why and grumble to myself about how unfair it all is. There have been times where my life has been at some low places, and I've come to you to talk about them. You always listen to me; always. You always make me feel better; always. You always help me through the next day, and the next day, and the next day; always. I want you to know that even though I cry and whine and argue with you about everything we disagree on, I understand that you have my best intentions at heart. You have so much more experience than I do, and you want only the absolute best for me. You want me to live up to my potential and do great things in the world. The sad truth is, up to this point, I have not done so. I've been lethargic. I've procrastinated. I've "rolled with the wrong crowd" before. I've made mistakes like everyone else. Mistakes that many of which could have been easily avoided if I'd just listened to you and taken your advice to heart rather than brushing you aside as if I knew better. I've disappointed you. I've brought many a tear to your eye. I've given you a restless night. I've not lived up to potential. These things I have done in the past. We even grew further apart to the point where we hardly ever talked, and I never spoke your name. I know how much that saddened you. Recently, we've spoken more than we have in a long time. Recently, I've faced some difficult times and I've found that the only person I can turn to for that neverending strength and comfort and compassion and genuine love that I need: is you. You are the light in the darkness of my life. You are the light in the darkness of the whole world. I know that I've made mistakes, and that I've disappointed you in the past. But right now, I'm here to tell you that I'm making a change. I'm making decisions. I'm making effort. I'm not just sitting by anymore. I want to talk to you again. I want to tell people about you and I want everybody in the whole wide world to know: that you are my dad; that you are my God.
Sincerely, and forever your son,
Jordan
J R Williams
Monday, April 18, 2011
A Salute of Remembrance, A Sigh of Disappointment
When I was but a wee lad, I went to school like anybody else. Every day after school, my Grandma would be parked outside waiting to pick me up. From there, we had our timing down to a dime. We would go straight from there to McDonalds, where she would buy me a chicken nugget Happy Meal, and from there we would sally forth to her house just in time to catch the beginning of Winnie the Pooh on Disney Channel. This ritual was repeated every day, and I loved it. I miss the "old days." The times when Disney Channel's claim to fame was Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck and Goofy. The times when Disney Channel won its popularity through ingenuity and REAL kids shows, rather than dramatic teenage soap operas and innuendo-filled shows borderline inappropriate for little children. The times when Disney stars didn't all become sluts soon after becoming famous (I know, I'm stereotyping. But hey, it is what it is). I miss the days when the shows on tv were just plain better, and actually spurred people's minds to think while entertaining them rather than filling them with mindless drivel and dumbing down the next generation. I miss shows like Bill Nye the Science Guy, and Zoom, and Between The Lions, and Reading Rainbow, and Boy Meets World, and I even watched Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. I miss not having to worry about whether what I found on PBS or Disney Channel in the afternoons would be appropriate or not; stupid or not. Have you ever seen what children's shows are like now? They're absolute stupidity. There is not one bit of substance to them at all. They're mindless cartoons to entertain and retardate the brain (I don't even know if "retardate" is a word, but I'm going to use it anyways). They are either completely idiotic or they're based on the premise of "child is somewhat of a genius and always cops an attitude to his/her moronic and spastic parents." And people wonder why the next generation has gone downhill. I was raised to read. Dr. Seuss was a genius. I would just sit in my spare time and read and read and read and read and read. I would go outside to the park and play in the sun. I would laugh with my parents and find no reason to fear or mistrust them. That is how a childhood should be. I like to think I was raised pretty damn well (pardon my French, but it's necessary for my desired emphasis). I'm politically interested, I'm literate, I'm intelligent, I'm creative, and I inherited my father's sarcastic sense of humor (which a lot of people don't like, but honestly, that's their loss. I think it's awesome). I look down at the new generation of junior high kids or even at my own peers finishing high school and entering college and I'm literally disgusted, shaking my head in disappointment as I type away at my laptop. Generations are remembered for the highlights of their existence, are they not? The 70's were the hippie years. The 80's (in my interpretation) were governed by classic rock and "gangsta rap." The 90's were the years of progress. What are people going to remember us for, being the first decade of the second millenium? We are going to be remembered as the people who couldn't find our belts and thought we were cool because people could see our underwear. The people who took an already-declining economy and shot it in the back with whatever we could find. The liberal generation. The illiterate generation. The generation of "change." Everybody wants change, but nobody ever stops to think about whether the change they're making is a good one. I look at my peers and probably more than half of them don't read. More than half of them can't understand anything higher than a 7th grade reading level. I hear things like "reading is only for nerds," "I hate reading," "I only read when I have to," "reading is for losers," and "why would you want to read? It's a waste of time," and it makes me sad. Sad that I'm a part of the generation that is willingly allowing itself to be recognized as the illiterates. The idiots. The destroyers of progress. And what's worse is that when confronted with that fact, at least in my experience, those individuals simply laugh it off as if it's all a big joke or it won't ever matter. Well in the next generation, when we are the ones who have to tie our shoes and pull our pants up and fill positions in the government and other important occupations, there's going to be a massive and unpleasant wake-up call for a lot of people, and I dread what's going to happen. I could go on and on about the decline of the nation, boiling down to the thought that the more we remove God from America the worse off as a nation we get. Think about it for a minute, if you will: nobody wants to allow prayer in schools anymore. They want to take "under God" out of the pledge of allegiance. We are pulling backing away from our longtime support of Israel, and in the Bible God tells the Israelites that "whosoever blesses you shall be blessed, and whosoever curses you shall be cursed (I think those are the exact words but I'm not positive. You get the idea)" We've even gone so far as to move the phrase "In God We Trust" from the face of the quarter to the border around it, so it can barely be seen. Consequently, we as a nation have been on an inexorably stagnant downward spiral of economic and moral collapse. I don't see coincidence; I see providence. Obviously there are also many other reasons for America's dire position, but you don't need me to tell you that.
To be short, I find myself deeply disappointed in my generation. I wish I could be living my years during the 80's and 90's, when everything was so much simpler and so much better. I miss the days of innocence and conscience that are now so far gone. I miss the good, clean, magical, classic Disney movies that have been now succeeded by such inferior replacements. I miss everything that is now gone. I hate having to wake up and hear constantly about how bad everything in the world is. And I know it's foolish to want to think everything is okay in the world, but that's how I feel. As cliche as it is; I just want peace. So to the past times, I salute you. I shall never, ever forget you. And to my generation, I'm disappointed in you. In us. In all of it.
J R Williams
To be short, I find myself deeply disappointed in my generation. I wish I could be living my years during the 80's and 90's, when everything was so much simpler and so much better. I miss the days of innocence and conscience that are now so far gone. I miss the good, clean, magical, classic Disney movies that have been now succeeded by such inferior replacements. I miss everything that is now gone. I hate having to wake up and hear constantly about how bad everything in the world is. And I know it's foolish to want to think everything is okay in the world, but that's how I feel. As cliche as it is; I just want peace. So to the past times, I salute you. I shall never, ever forget you. And to my generation, I'm disappointed in you. In us. In all of it.
J R Williams
Friday, April 1, 2011
Big 48
Today I reach 48 blog posts. I truly never thought I would even make it this far; generally things like this that I start dry up/lose my interest fairly quickly, and yet I'm rather fond of this blog. I find it to be an effective tool for the venting of frustrations or the expression of political opinions. It's also been rather instrumental in starting a lot of debates and/or other random arguments that I quite enjoy stirring up every now and then, to tell the truth. Something about a good argument (that I can actually hold my own in) is just engaging and entertaining and gets the creative energy flowing. It also comes accompanied by the utter feeling of complete success whenever I'm able to hopelessly troll somebody's feeble comeback, per se.
I digress. Actually... no, I don't, seeing as there was never really any original point to digress from. On this completely random note, I've decided to share my love of naming inanimate objects. Well, I suppose it's not so much a love as a fondness. For example: my old car was named Pancho Villa, after the famous Mexican outlaw, because I drove it illegally/unregistered for several months and it was a broken down POS of a car. My laptop I have named Megatron in light of some friends of mine seeing it and saying it looks like a Decepticon due to its lit keyboard and large size. It's an Asus gaming laptop, and it's quite large. It's also quite beautiful. My shotgun I'm honestly torn between names for. I may call it Drobovik (drowe-bow-vick), which is Russian for "shotgun." But I may also call it Ich Glockma, which is German for "the goat." I don't know why, but I find it hilarious. My phone is named the Professor, because it knows everything. Yeah. I name things. It's odd, but entertaining and makes for some interesting conversations at times.
Aside from that, I really have nothing to say today. When I have a lot on my mind, or a lot of stress or emotion, or I'm as bored as a blind person during a silent film, I blog. And thus, here I am.
Oh, one more thing to briefly touch upon before I leave all my faithful readers today (are there even any? Meh, I don't care much if there are or aren't. But if there are, great! I love you guys!). Three days left until we leave for California for the week to visit family there. While I'm down there I'm also going down to visit my girlfriend, whom I don't get to see nearly as often as I should be able to. I'd say it's unfair, but that would only be an admission of self-pity in an otherwise unpitiable situation. We chose this, so we can live with it. But anyways, yeah, we're leaving in a few days. Here's hoping that everything goes well..
J R Williams
I digress. Actually... no, I don't, seeing as there was never really any original point to digress from. On this completely random note, I've decided to share my love of naming inanimate objects. Well, I suppose it's not so much a love as a fondness. For example: my old car was named Pancho Villa, after the famous Mexican outlaw, because I drove it illegally/unregistered for several months and it was a broken down POS of a car. My laptop I have named Megatron in light of some friends of mine seeing it and saying it looks like a Decepticon due to its lit keyboard and large size. It's an Asus gaming laptop, and it's quite large. It's also quite beautiful. My shotgun I'm honestly torn between names for. I may call it Drobovik (drowe-bow-vick), which is Russian for "shotgun." But I may also call it Ich Glockma, which is German for "the goat." I don't know why, but I find it hilarious. My phone is named the Professor, because it knows everything. Yeah. I name things. It's odd, but entertaining and makes for some interesting conversations at times.
Aside from that, I really have nothing to say today. When I have a lot on my mind, or a lot of stress or emotion, or I'm as bored as a blind person during a silent film, I blog. And thus, here I am.
Oh, one more thing to briefly touch upon before I leave all my faithful readers today (are there even any? Meh, I don't care much if there are or aren't. But if there are, great! I love you guys!). Three days left until we leave for California for the week to visit family there. While I'm down there I'm also going down to visit my girlfriend, whom I don't get to see nearly as often as I should be able to. I'd say it's unfair, but that would only be an admission of self-pity in an otherwise unpitiable situation. We chose this, so we can live with it. But anyways, yeah, we're leaving in a few days. Here's hoping that everything goes well..
J R Williams
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Alta High School Controversy
"We are visiting all Language Arts classes this week to speak with students about their role in creating an atmosphere free of discrimination, and alerting them that any acts of racism, intimidation, or bullying will not be tolerated. We are notifying our students, faculty and administrators of their duty to report discrimination and civil rights violations..." Hello, Communism! It's been awhile. I haven't seen you appear so strongly in society since everybody voted NO to the REAL stadium (twice) and they built it with taxpayer money anyways.
Going from class to class informing students that they are required to report acts or words of racism or discrimination is a pointless waste of everybody's time. If somebody cracks a black joke in the halls, are you going to arrest him, or suspend him, or both? But let me rewind for those of you that don't know the entire situation. At Alta High School, a student wore a KKK hood to a pep rally and pulled a Nazi salute, presumably targeting it at a specific black student named Larz. The racist boy has since been suspended and the NAACP has essentially but the school on lockdown for a thorough investigation into the school's "rampant racism." Students are being stopped and questioned by police officers throughout the halls, and though I'm unaware of any other suspensions there apparently have been several more reported racial or discriminatory incidents. I'm not racist, but I DO advocate equal rights. Yes, people, there is a difference between not being racist and advocating equal rights. Put it in this light: if that Larz guy were to show up to school in all black with a t-shirt that says "Black Power," nobody would even blink. Granted, it was in very poor taste to don a KKK hood even if just for a few laughs. But at the point where Larz takes that isolated incident and turns it into "this entire school is racist, do something about it".... that's where it gets ridiculous. If you stop a guy in the hallway and ask him "are you racist?" what happens if he replies with a "yes"? Do you arrest him? Detain him? Suspend him? For the sake of free speech, I certainly hope not. I truly would not be surprised in the least bit if in the near future it becomes illegal just to make a racist joke in public. I'll be outraged, but unsurprised. I'm no racist; I have nothing against the African American people. What I have issue with is the inherent reverse discrimination prevalent in society today. "African American Golfer's Digest" is just one arbitrary example. If anybody tried to start a "White Golfer's Digest" somebody would get shot, or sued, or arrested for discrimination, or all of the above. Yes, it was wrong of this guy to show up in a Klan outfit. But NO, it is not okay to waste taxpayer money by having police roam the halls of a high school interrogating students about how racist everybody else is. That's pointless and ridiculous and won't solve anything. If somebody makes a racist comment and ends up suspended for it, that's impeachment of free speech, and if this continues I will soon lose all remaining faith I have in America.
J R Williams
Going from class to class informing students that they are required to report acts or words of racism or discrimination is a pointless waste of everybody's time. If somebody cracks a black joke in the halls, are you going to arrest him, or suspend him, or both? But let me rewind for those of you that don't know the entire situation. At Alta High School, a student wore a KKK hood to a pep rally and pulled a Nazi salute, presumably targeting it at a specific black student named Larz. The racist boy has since been suspended and the NAACP has essentially but the school on lockdown for a thorough investigation into the school's "rampant racism." Students are being stopped and questioned by police officers throughout the halls, and though I'm unaware of any other suspensions there apparently have been several more reported racial or discriminatory incidents. I'm not racist, but I DO advocate equal rights. Yes, people, there is a difference between not being racist and advocating equal rights. Put it in this light: if that Larz guy were to show up to school in all black with a t-shirt that says "Black Power," nobody would even blink. Granted, it was in very poor taste to don a KKK hood even if just for a few laughs. But at the point where Larz takes that isolated incident and turns it into "this entire school is racist, do something about it".... that's where it gets ridiculous. If you stop a guy in the hallway and ask him "are you racist?" what happens if he replies with a "yes"? Do you arrest him? Detain him? Suspend him? For the sake of free speech, I certainly hope not. I truly would not be surprised in the least bit if in the near future it becomes illegal just to make a racist joke in public. I'll be outraged, but unsurprised. I'm no racist; I have nothing against the African American people. What I have issue with is the inherent reverse discrimination prevalent in society today. "African American Golfer's Digest" is just one arbitrary example. If anybody tried to start a "White Golfer's Digest" somebody would get shot, or sued, or arrested for discrimination, or all of the above. Yes, it was wrong of this guy to show up in a Klan outfit. But NO, it is not okay to waste taxpayer money by having police roam the halls of a high school interrogating students about how racist everybody else is. That's pointless and ridiculous and won't solve anything. If somebody makes a racist comment and ends up suspended for it, that's impeachment of free speech, and if this continues I will soon lose all remaining faith I have in America.
J R Williams
Monday, March 28, 2011
Official Homefront Review *Warning, Graphic Game Content*
Sunday afternoon I realized starkly that I had a big test the following morning in Criminal Justice. Talk about a gun-to-head moment. Frantically I printed out the 28 pages of study guides (the ones I should have filled out over the past couple weeks so I could actually STUDY them for the test) and wondered how I would even fill them out in time for the test, much less actually study them too. Luckily a friend of mine came to my rescue and gave me all the answers, essentially saving me hours and hours of reading through the textbook. Now I could focus on cramming for the test itself... which took me hours and hours. And my intensive, panicked studying came through for me! I pulled through and think I did very well, actually. Hoorah for cramming.
Alright, so I've logged double digit hours playing Homefront and I'm going to present my official review/opinion of it now. It was essentially Call of Duty with the widespread feel of Battlefield. The visuals were very much like Call of Duty, if somewhat better. The game would probably pin its claim to fame on its reputation for brutality, and for its vision of the destructive Korean occupation of America. It is an experience of intense warfare literally in our own back yard. The first ten minutes of the game are a fairly accurate depiction of what to expect throughout the remainder of the game. You are loaded onto a prison bus and treated with a slow roll through a terrorized Colorado town with a front row seat to the oppression of the American people. You see men lined up against a wall and shot down. You see a soldier throw a bag over a man's head to strangle him. You see two soldiers beating a man to death on the side of the road with their rifles. You see a weeping child forced to watch his parents shot down in front of him. This is a very, very brutal game. At one point later on, you uncover mass graves where tractors simply dump dozens of bodies into holes in the ground. You are very shortly thereafter forced to jump into the pile to hide from the enemy. I was continuously struck by the sheer graphic nature of the game. I believe the point to this was to instill a feeling of nationality, or a rally-around-the-flag way of thinking in people. I believe it was intended to bring up sympathy and heartache for the game's characters and these poor American people. The impression I got, however, was one of almost distaste. The brutality was just that: brutality. Yes, it was all very tragic. But I wasn't emotionally stricken with grief for the game's characters. They were angry and gritty and heartbroken, but fickle. They seemed almost to switch personalities throughout the game. And while the single player gameplay was very fun and environmental, much of it was unbelievable and some of it was even a little repetetive. The multiplayer was a vast disappointment. I think the biggest thing I liked about it was the fact that when you shoot at someone, you die a lot faster than in any other games of the kind. There isn't any of this emptying an entire magazine into someone and finally killing them, if you're lucky, nonsense. Four hits and boom, down you go. The emphasis is on vehicular combat; you can literally spawn into a vehicle, and that's your assigned vehicle. You can get out of it, but if you stay outside of it for X amount of seconds, you lose the ability to get back in and now you're an infantryman always on the lookout for other infantry and hiding from enemy vehicles.
In short, it was a fun game, but I found that it tried to compensate for its lack of ingenuity with its shocking brutality.
J R Williams
Alright, so I've logged double digit hours playing Homefront and I'm going to present my official review/opinion of it now. It was essentially Call of Duty with the widespread feel of Battlefield. The visuals were very much like Call of Duty, if somewhat better. The game would probably pin its claim to fame on its reputation for brutality, and for its vision of the destructive Korean occupation of America. It is an experience of intense warfare literally in our own back yard. The first ten minutes of the game are a fairly accurate depiction of what to expect throughout the remainder of the game. You are loaded onto a prison bus and treated with a slow roll through a terrorized Colorado town with a front row seat to the oppression of the American people. You see men lined up against a wall and shot down. You see a soldier throw a bag over a man's head to strangle him. You see two soldiers beating a man to death on the side of the road with their rifles. You see a weeping child forced to watch his parents shot down in front of him. This is a very, very brutal game. At one point later on, you uncover mass graves where tractors simply dump dozens of bodies into holes in the ground. You are very shortly thereafter forced to jump into the pile to hide from the enemy. I was continuously struck by the sheer graphic nature of the game. I believe the point to this was to instill a feeling of nationality, or a rally-around-the-flag way of thinking in people. I believe it was intended to bring up sympathy and heartache for the game's characters and these poor American people. The impression I got, however, was one of almost distaste. The brutality was just that: brutality. Yes, it was all very tragic. But I wasn't emotionally stricken with grief for the game's characters. They were angry and gritty and heartbroken, but fickle. They seemed almost to switch personalities throughout the game. And while the single player gameplay was very fun and environmental, much of it was unbelievable and some of it was even a little repetetive. The multiplayer was a vast disappointment. I think the biggest thing I liked about it was the fact that when you shoot at someone, you die a lot faster than in any other games of the kind. There isn't any of this emptying an entire magazine into someone and finally killing them, if you're lucky, nonsense. Four hits and boom, down you go. The emphasis is on vehicular combat; you can literally spawn into a vehicle, and that's your assigned vehicle. You can get out of it, but if you stay outside of it for X amount of seconds, you lose the ability to get back in and now you're an infantryman always on the lookout for other infantry and hiding from enemy vehicles.
In short, it was a fun game, but I found that it tried to compensate for its lack of ingenuity with its shocking brutality.
J R Williams
Monday, March 21, 2011
Libya
Oh, Libya. Where to begin. The hypocrisy staggers me, first of all. Make no mistake, we are at war. Our military has attacked the military of a soverign nation. We attacked; we struck first. I wanted to first say that as a side note. As for the hypocrisy: When Bush got a UN resolution authorizing military force, liberals called military action illegal because Congress did not declare war. Obama has now done the same thing -- in less than a week's time, at that -- and suddenly it's okay. Where are the liberals and their outrage now? Nobody's done or said very much about it. Liberals said Saddam being a murderer was not a valid reason to go to war because Iraq posed no imminent threat to us. But now when Obama does the same thing, it's okay. Hypocrites.
As much of a supporter as I am of the "we want to help" idealism laced throughout our international policy, the simple fact is we shouldn't be anywhere near Libya right now, much less militarily. It may be in the best interest of a decent person's moral code, but it contradicts national interest. Libya is no threat to America. We've been dropping bombs and shooting down Libyan military for days now. We are, in every definition, an imposing military force invading the territory of a soverign nation. Good reasons or no good reasons aside: that is, in very essence, what is happening. If we continue this trend of sending military assets to every country at war with itself, it will lead to indefinite U.S. military occupation of most of the countries in the world, Africa and the Middle East specifically. I hear there's civil war in Somalia; let's send the army and fix their problems too, while we're at it (complete sarcasm: let's NOT go to Somalia). America is the most indebted nation on Earth, with a national deficit of over 14 trillion 236 billion dollars. Considering the average population of America being just over 310 million people (these are generalized numbers that can be verified/more specified at http://www.brillig.com/debt_clock/), that means that each citizen's share of the debt is roughly $45,889.53. We cannot even remotely begin to afford yet another war on our hands. Our military is already spread thinly across the world. We are merely borrowing even more money that we cannot pay back to send soldiers out somewhere halfway across the world to settle one of COUNTLESS countries' domestic problems. I'm not insensitively giving the "screw you" to oppressed people worldwide; I AM saying that we need to get our own country in order and back on its feet before we go imposing ourselves on so many others. The King James Bible says: "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" The NIV Bible translates to: "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" I personally translate this to: don't try to fix the world if you can't fix yourself (in regards to America).
Again, I completely sympathize with the "we want to fix the world and save all the people" idealism, because I hate to see suffering as much as the next man. But that idealism is exactly that: idealism. The reality is that we simply cannot go wherever we please in the world without consideration of cost, motive, or general right to interfere, and make everything better. Yes, bad things happen to innocent people. But America can't control the entire world. We can't even control our own government.
J R Williams
As much of a supporter as I am of the "we want to help" idealism laced throughout our international policy, the simple fact is we shouldn't be anywhere near Libya right now, much less militarily. It may be in the best interest of a decent person's moral code, but it contradicts national interest. Libya is no threat to America. We've been dropping bombs and shooting down Libyan military for days now. We are, in every definition, an imposing military force invading the territory of a soverign nation. Good reasons or no good reasons aside: that is, in very essence, what is happening. If we continue this trend of sending military assets to every country at war with itself, it will lead to indefinite U.S. military occupation of most of the countries in the world, Africa and the Middle East specifically. I hear there's civil war in Somalia; let's send the army and fix their problems too, while we're at it (complete sarcasm: let's NOT go to Somalia). America is the most indebted nation on Earth, with a national deficit of over 14 trillion 236 billion dollars. Considering the average population of America being just over 310 million people (these are generalized numbers that can be verified/more specified at http://www.brillig.com/debt_clock/), that means that each citizen's share of the debt is roughly $45,889.53. We cannot even remotely begin to afford yet another war on our hands. Our military is already spread thinly across the world. We are merely borrowing even more money that we cannot pay back to send soldiers out somewhere halfway across the world to settle one of COUNTLESS countries' domestic problems. I'm not insensitively giving the "screw you" to oppressed people worldwide; I AM saying that we need to get our own country in order and back on its feet before we go imposing ourselves on so many others. The King James Bible says: "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" The NIV Bible translates to: "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" I personally translate this to: don't try to fix the world if you can't fix yourself (in regards to America).
Again, I completely sympathize with the "we want to fix the world and save all the people" idealism, because I hate to see suffering as much as the next man. But that idealism is exactly that: idealism. The reality is that we simply cannot go wherever we please in the world without consideration of cost, motive, or general right to interfere, and make everything better. Yes, bad things happen to innocent people. But America can't control the entire world. We can't even control our own government.
J R Williams
Poetic Insights
I'm currently listening to: "Iris," by the Goo Goo Dolls.
Today I'm going to share some poetry. I've been on a massive influx of creative outflow in regards to both stress and inspiration, and consequently I've not only gotten back into poetry (I used to write it and stopped a long time ago), but I've never written more than I have just over the past few days. When I'm angry, hurt, impatient, upset, or stressed, I write short (or long, if that's what I'm feeling) poems about my thoughts (without details, of course) and I feel better. Yay poetry.
I wrote this two nights ago:
My escape takes me from reality.
Shows me a place where life is good finally.
My mind battles chaos
And jumbled thoughts.
But my hand battles only a pen
As the words flow onto the page.
My escape is constructive;
Beautiful;
Productive.
My escape is both thrilling and seductive.
My escape takes me to a faraway place.
A place without pain or tears.
My escape, my new escape, shall simply be:
Poetry.
-"Poetry," written by Me.
J R Williams
Today I'm going to share some poetry. I've been on a massive influx of creative outflow in regards to both stress and inspiration, and consequently I've not only gotten back into poetry (I used to write it and stopped a long time ago), but I've never written more than I have just over the past few days. When I'm angry, hurt, impatient, upset, or stressed, I write short (or long, if that's what I'm feeling) poems about my thoughts (without details, of course) and I feel better. Yay poetry.
I wrote this two nights ago:
My escape takes me from reality.
Shows me a place where life is good finally.
My mind battles chaos
And jumbled thoughts.
But my hand battles only a pen
As the words flow onto the page.
My escape is constructive;
Beautiful;
Productive.
My escape is both thrilling and seductive.
My escape takes me to a faraway place.
A place without pain or tears.
My escape, my new escape, shall simply be:
Poetry.
-"Poetry," written by Me.
J R Williams
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Homefront
I'm currently downloading Homefront, the new game that came out yesterday but didn't hit Steam until a few hours ago. I love how they do that, because it gives people like me the unique opportunity to hit the ground guns blazing a full day after the rest of the world has had time to figure out all the best sniper points and workings of the game. This inexorably results in the swift kicking of my rookie-behind for the first few hours, deeply embarrassing my hardcore gamer ego. I have both high and low expectations for this game; high expectations regarding the storyline, despite the fact they completely took the general idea of a novel I've been writing for over 3 years (it's about the Second American Revolution). The low expectations come from the fact that it looks visually like nothing more than an over-inflated Call of Duty: Modern Warfare. The graphics look essentially the same, and so does the gameplay. Homefront appears to be a collaboration of ideas from both Call of Duty and Battlefield. Examples: Call of Duty look and feel, down to the gameplay and appearance of the soldiers and the tempo of battle. Battlefield size and scope, in that the emphasis on the field is to be in vehicular warfare, leaving only a bleak outlook of building-hopping for infantry hoping to escape, say, an M1 Abrams tank's wrath. I won't pass any judgment on the game yet, but it appears to be this: Call of Duty with larger maps and a significant emphasis on vehicular combat (tanks, helicopters, etc.). Hopefully it'll impress me and prove itself worth buying it. We'll soon find out.
In other news, I have over 200 rounds of shotgun ammo on my shelf and a very deep need to use them. Does anybody shoot/want to go shooting with me? I'm looking to go shooting this weekend. It's time to go out and lay waste to some orange clay.
In other other news, I'm still completely at a loss and at the mercy of the Lord at what's going to happen with my planned California trip to see my girlfriend next month. I have no idea what's going to happen, but I'm determined to get there, even at great expense to myself. I gotta get over there somehow.
That's all I've got today.
J R Williams
In other news, I have over 200 rounds of shotgun ammo on my shelf and a very deep need to use them. Does anybody shoot/want to go shooting with me? I'm looking to go shooting this weekend. It's time to go out and lay waste to some orange clay.
In other other news, I'm still completely at a loss and at the mercy of the Lord at what's going to happen with my planned California trip to see my girlfriend next month. I have no idea what's going to happen, but I'm determined to get there, even at great expense to myself. I gotta get over there somehow.
That's all I've got today.
J R Williams
Friday, February 25, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Spreading the Wealth
It has come to my attention as of late that there is an ongoing nationwide debate amongst my generation on whether soldiers should make more money than football players. Rather than whine a sentence or two about it on my facebook status and "like" a few pages, I'll just put down my two cents here. Should soldiers make more than football players? At the current rate football players are paid... No. Should soldier be a higher paying job in general than football player? I agree completely (side note: there IS hazard pay as well). Strictly against the football standpoint, far too much money is being wasted already. There is no logical reason for them to make as much as the average American does in 5 years because they can throw or catch a ball. It is absolutely atrocious, what NFL players make. And I am personally a very big fan of football. But I DO NOT think that the average soldier should make that much either. That, also, is irrational. Sure, they're patriots putting their lives on the line to defend the flag, but they're one of how many hundreds of thousands of others exactly like them? We can't afford to pay what we HAVE been paying out into the world. In short, hopefully simple summary: football players should not make as much money as they do now. Soldiers should not make more than football players do now. But, in principle, soldiers SHOULD make more than football players do. That's my take on the whole debate.
J R Williams
J R Williams
Monday, February 7, 2011
Brief encounters in classic stupidity
I've already posted a blog post today, so I'll try to be very brief here. I just had a run-in during my US Government & Politics class that I'd like to share. It is my personal opinion that you are not entitled to constantly complaining about the ineffectivity or policies of a president if you didn't even bother voting in the first place. Today the teacher asked us our opinions of Obama, and one guy had to enunciate his hatred of Obama and his policies. When asked which policies he didn't like, he couldn't name a single one. He just said "I don't know, he's just a terrible president" over and over. Mind you, I am NO supporter of Obama. Not by any stretch. But at least I can back myself up if asked (I'm keeping this post short, otherwise I'd be going on about it for another half hour or so). The teacher asked who he voted for and he said he didn't vote. This guy is in his 30's. Honestly, if you can't take the time to drive a few minutes and check the box for the other guy, you shouldn't take the time to complain about who won for his entire term. After all, you had the opportunity to contribute to doing something about it and you didn't. So with the absolute greatest measure of respect, shut your mouth. Nobody cares.
J R Williams
J R Williams
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Time to kill
Immediately I'm going to quell any misgivings regarding the title of this post. I'm not actually killing anything, nor am I "figuratively" killing anything. I merely have time, literally, to kill (as is the common lingo). I got to school 20 minutes late for class, already paranoid of missing out on important information. You see, I'm very often late for that first class. I arrived only to be informed that class had been cancelled. Jubilation? I think not. Now I have almost two hours with which to wander aimlessly around the school waiting for my next class, which isn't until 10. Normally I would get out of class and still have an hour to kill between classes. This is just madness. So, naturally I decided to update my blog a second time today. I have no life.
Big Number 20!!!
I was so excited for this post, being my big number 20th blog entry, that I had to jump right on in without even coming up with anything in particular to say. So, I'll simply rant about the first few conversational/update-worthy things that come to my mind. Tomorrow morning I have an exam in Criminal Justice, which I was conclusively unprepared for about an hour ago. Sure I paid attention in class and took copious notes, but never was there anything that was prophesized to appear specifically in the exam. So, naturally, I immediately panicked. This panic, rather than quickly abated, rapidly doubled in depth when I asked a fellow classmate what the exam was targeting. She told me very matter-of-factly that we were to be tested on the content of the textbook's chapters 1-4. This prompted an immediate slew of profanity in my head, seeing as I have NOT purchased the bloody book. Now, before you face-palm yourself and tell me how stupid I am, I know. I should have went and bought the stupid book. But honestly, the rebellious side of me yearns to complain that the teacher could/should have at least done the courtesy of specifying publicly that it was dire to acquire a textbook. Or, how about this insane idea: let's actually inform the class on something that they're going to be tested on once in awhile. What a revolutionary concept. Nevertheless, I blessedly had an Email copy of the powerpoints used to give us the main points of the class information (many of which are supposed to appear on the exam). Thus, I have spent the last 2 hours taking down extensive notes from these powerpoints; writing down anything I deem to be important or stand-outish. Hopefully that, coupled with my destiny of intensive cramming between classes tomorrow, will be enough to give me a passing grade.
And now, I've talked about one single subject far longer than I'd anticipated being able to talk about anything in particular, period. I'm quite proud of myself in that aspect... save for the fact that I just realized I should be using this time to study rather than blog about how I should study. Ah, irony.
J R Williams
And now, I've talked about one single subject far longer than I'd anticipated being able to talk about anything in particular, period. I'm quite proud of myself in that aspect... save for the fact that I just realized I should be using this time to study rather than blog about how I should study. Ah, irony.
J R Williams
Monday, January 31, 2011
Mondays
"Remember remember the 5th of November, gunpowder treason and plot. I can think of no reason why gunpowder, treason, should ever be forgot."
-V For Vendetta
I like that quote, and I'm not sure why. Anyways, that's clearly not in the title of this blog and today I'm feeling somewhat specific (at least, at this moment in time) so I'll continue: mondays. They are miserable existences that one must endure once a week in order to escape to a better life (i.e. the weekend). I would be so bold as to say that I genuinely hate Mondays, and I don't hate a very many things. Today, I woke up an hour later than I expected to. I left my house 5 minutes after my class had started, and it's a 20 minute drive, so it was bad enough already. I had to make a stop with my Dad at Rock Creek Pizza to pick up my wallet, which I'd left there over the weekend accidentally, but neither of us had brought a door key. This resulted in the following scenario.
Being even more late for class + No results = Complete waste of time
We proceeded to drive to the Jordan campus of Salt Lake Community College, where I go to school, and as I stepped out of the car I was struck with utter horror: I didn't bring my backpack. And I had assignments I needed to turn in. So, begrudgingly, we drove all the way back home to get it, and all the way back once more. I missed my first class entirely. The long and short of it is that Mondays, in general, are stereotypically detestable and trifling days that nobody really seems to enjoy, except for a few people who are utterly out of their minds (personal opinion, I'm not judging... or am I?). In conclusion.... Dear Mondays, I very much dislike you.
J R Williams
-V For Vendetta
I like that quote, and I'm not sure why. Anyways, that's clearly not in the title of this blog and today I'm feeling somewhat specific (at least, at this moment in time) so I'll continue: mondays. They are miserable existences that one must endure once a week in order to escape to a better life (i.e. the weekend). I would be so bold as to say that I genuinely hate Mondays, and I don't hate a very many things. Today, I woke up an hour later than I expected to. I left my house 5 minutes after my class had started, and it's a 20 minute drive, so it was bad enough already. I had to make a stop with my Dad at Rock Creek Pizza to pick up my wallet, which I'd left there over the weekend accidentally, but neither of us had brought a door key. This resulted in the following scenario.
Being even more late for class + No results = Complete waste of time
We proceeded to drive to the Jordan campus of Salt Lake Community College, where I go to school, and as I stepped out of the car I was struck with utter horror: I didn't bring my backpack. And I had assignments I needed to turn in. So, begrudgingly, we drove all the way back home to get it, and all the way back once more. I missed my first class entirely. The long and short of it is that Mondays, in general, are stereotypically detestable and trifling days that nobody really seems to enjoy, except for a few people who are utterly out of their minds (personal opinion, I'm not judging... or am I?). In conclusion.... Dear Mondays, I very much dislike you.
J R Williams
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