The move from Utah to California has officially come to its close. My dad and I flew back to Salt Lake City to load a second moving truck and drove it back to Lodi (California) yesterday. The drive took roughly 14 and a half hours. Yeah, it really WAS as fun as it sounds. And by fun, I mean not fun in any remote way whatsoever. The goodbye was heart-wrenching; granted, upon returning to Utah for an additional two weeks after initially leaving for California I suddenly found myself thinking to myself something along the lines of "I could have sworn I had more friends than this. Where is everybody?" It was a definitive "find out who your true friends are" moment. But saying goodbye to those close friends of mine was difficult -- even for a rock-solid, emotionally sound young man such as myself. Hahaha. As if. I said goodbye to my friend Travis and his family, and I broke down right in front of them. Luckily, shortly following that moment I regained my composure and felt I would be alright... until I arrived at home, upon which I broke down once more. I know, I know; what a baby, right? Meh. Oh well. Anyways, I digress.
We are all settled in here in Lodi finally -- I've even posted several pictures of the new house. I have never been more torn in my entire life when it comes to my opinion of the move. On one hand, it's incredibly and deplorably depressing. I grew up in Salt Lake City. My friends are there. My memories are there. I worked for my dad at Rock Creek Pizza for seven years. It was my first job, and I recently left. Now I have no social life. No car. Unpaid bills. And to add icing to the already ravaged cake: I'm unemployed. I'm not used to being unemployed. It's a weird, and frightening feeling. Why would anybody choose to dwell in such a state?? I'm going out tomorrow and applying at everything with a "Now Hiring" sign I can possibly find. Now that I've done my rant on the horrors of leaving home, I'll flip-flop over to the other hand: the upsides. I adore the weather here. Sure I miss the snow, but I don't miss waking up every morning and freezing my face off with a shovel clearing the driveway so I can leave. I like my new house. I've never lived in a house this nice, and I'm growing quite fond of it. Also, I'm excited by the whole "fresh start" possibility. A chance to reshape my life and be who I want to be. I've coerced myself into a mindset that says "Well you're moving 700 miles away and starting a new life, so you might as well change whatever you want to change now." Consequently, I've started working out, I dyed my hair black (though it's faded to a dark brown now, on its way back to a light-ish brown like it normally is), I sold a lot of my old things, and I've even gotten a new wardrobe. I've already met some people too.. :) (I know what you're thinking. "*Gasp* Jordan, you NEVER use smiley faces or other text-lingo in your blog posts!" But when you gotta smile, you gotta smile, so bear with me). I've also put together a basic list of my immediate/short term goals for the new life here. First: find a job. That is KEY to everything. Secondly: get a car. That is also hugely important, especially since I'd very much like to be able to make some trips down south a ways.. Thirdly: make some friends. Haha. Lame goal I know, but hey, a guy has to do SOMETHING or he's going to go out of his mind in boredom. Fourthly: get back to school. I've been putting thought into where I want to go to school, and I think at first I'm just going to go to Delta here in Lodi (community college) to get my generals done and save some money. Eventually, I'd like to go maybe to Sacramento state or UCLA. Why I want to go to either one of those I don't even honestly know. They're both prestigious schools with dorms and I want the full college experienece; not just community college. *Sigh*. I suppose we'll see what happens.
My brother Brandon is now on his way to Afghanistan to serve in the Army. My heart goes out to he and his wife Melissa for their 14 month separation from each other. You've got to hand it to them: that's love right there. I don't think I would be able to go that long without my wife, so I have great respect and admiration for them. I pray for his safety and for hers during this time. Brandon, if you happen somehow to read this: know that many people here are thinking of you and praying for you, and that I love you. Take care of yourself, and come back to us in one piece okay?
I have often thought of joining a branch of the military for financial and educational reasons (basically: I'm poor.). Besides, I'd be a total stud after boot camp. Hahaha. But honestly I could not go to war. If a thief breaks into my home and attempted to bring harm to me or my family, I'd shoot him down without hesitation. I'd take a life. If I were in a kill-or-be-killed situation like that, I would act. But the concept of literally killing a man sickens me, and the knowledge that that man and many others would very much like to kill me terrifies me. I could never put myself in a situation or place where I would end up in a war zone. I lack the resolve to go to war. I lack the courage. Call it cowardice, call it simple self-preservation, call it sensitivity; the simple fact is that I will not join the military for fear of war. And war is one of the very few things in life these days aside from liberals and economic instability that is NOT in short supply. I have often been known for my stereotypical outlook against the military that it is made up of dropouts who merely had no other place to turn. But my brother changes my opinion. He is one of a great many who are out there doing a service for their country, and to all of you men: I salute you. You are all heroes, regardless of the fools in office who may misuse you or abuse you. Your bravery and strength is never forgotten.
I wrote this post while listening to "Heart of Courage" by Two Steps From Hell; quite possibly the perfect song to listen to while writing about military action and/or war. Don't let the band's name fool you: they are a group dedicated to producing movie trailer music. All of their songs are instrumental. and many of them are absolutely amazing pieces of music.
On that note, I'll put a stop to this post. Tomorrow, I begin the search for a job and a jumpstart to my new life. Wish me luck.
J R Williams
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