A Letter To Dad

Dear Dad,

It's been awhile --a longer while than I care to admit, really -- since I've come to you like this. We have some things we need to talk about, I think. I know that, in the past, I've had my ups and my downs. I know you have high expectations for me. And to be honest a lot of the time I feel pretty bitter and/or downtrodden when I don't measure up. It sometimes makes me feel like I don't measure up at all, to anything of value. But I know that isn't your intention. Your high expectations are out of your love for me and your hope to see me succeed. I know that sometimes I may not like the way you go about things. I may not understand why you do the things you do; especially when you incorporate "tough love." Often I wonder why and grumble to myself about how unfair it all is. There have been times where my life has been at some low places, and I've come to you to talk about them. You always listen to me; always. You always make me feel better; always. You always help me through the next day, and the next day, and the next day; always. I want you to know that even though I cry and whine and argue with you about everything we disagree on, I understand that you have my best intentions at heart. You have so much more experience than I do, and you want only the absolute best for me. You want me to live up to my potential and do great things in the world. The sad truth is, up to this point, I have not done so. I've been lethargic. I've procrastinated. I've "rolled with the wrong crowd" before. I've made mistakes like everyone else. Mistakes that many of which could have been easily avoided if I'd just listened to you and taken your advice to heart rather than brushing you aside as if I knew better. I've disappointed you. I've brought many a tear to your eye. I've given you a restless night. I've not lived up to potential. These things I have done in the past. We even grew further apart to the point where we hardly ever talked, and I never spoke your name. I know how much that saddened you. Recently, we've spoken more than we have in a long time. Recently, I've faced some difficult times and I've found that the only person I can turn to for that neverending strength and comfort and compassion and genuine love that I need: is you. You are the light in the darkness of my life. You are the light in the darkness of the whole world. I know that I've made mistakes, and that I've disappointed you in the past. But right now, I'm here to tell you that I'm making a change. I'm making decisions. I'm making effort. I'm not just sitting by anymore. I want to talk to you again. I want to tell people about you and I want everybody in the whole wide world to know: that you are my dad; that you are my God.

Sincerely, and forever your son,

Jordan



J R Williams